This Horse is Very High

[ismenin]

It is not often I get on my high horse, but I am irked. And what irked me, you may (or may not, according to your interest in my blatherings) ask?




THIS is what irked me. I quote from their internet advert.


"As we are a family hotel, we do not accept single gender group bookings"


Well, and WHAT, may one enquire, would gay people be doing that het couples don't? Bonking each other on the dining room table?

I sent this e mail. The couple are not real. I made them up for the purposes of this enquiry.



Hello. I have been browsing your website on behalf of an busy American couple I know, looking for accommodation for myself, both of them and their three year old daughter for two weeks during the summer.

But reading through your "family orientated" adverisement, it seems to me that this family of three would not be accepted as a family in your hotel, as the parents are both men.

Is this what your site implied? That groups consisting of (two married) people of the same sex would not be able to book rooms at your hotel?

Please enlighten me if I am wrong. Your hotel looks most suitable as my friends - one a doctor, the other a professor of ancient history - wish for some quiet relaxing time with their child and with me, and would be very much embarrassed by a refusal of accommodation on reaching your establishment.

Sincere regards, Ruth ........... (Mrs)

I have had no reply as yet.


Now - don't tell me Wales is not living in pre-historic times. I was wondering if this advertisement was actually breaking the law, in light of recent developments in allowing gays to marry. Is it acceptable to turn couples - even married couples - away from hotels because of their sexual orientation?

NONONONONO! Never, ever. We fail in one point, we fail in all. Bugrit.

Comments

[forestrane.livejournal.com]

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for the support you give us.

I know, if that advert was for a place here in the US, I would only have to send the link to various gay organizations and the "shit" would hit the fan. That place would be bombarded with various acts of activism.

[ismenin.livejournal.com]

You are very welcome, my love. Het, gay, bi, striped with green spots. Who cares? I love PEOPLE for who they are - their bed -partners can be three-toed sloths for all I care. I just get cross over such discrimination. I will post their reply, if they send one. Perhaps they are taking legal advice on their position. We'll see.

[ourdramaqueen.livejournal.com]

Well I sure really don't see what reason they would have to not house same-sex groups (like an all-male/all-female choir or sports group or... just a group of friends or business people) just because they're a family hotel... unless they don't want the families visiting them to see same-sex couples. I'm very curious whether you'll get a reply or not!

[ismenin.livejournal.com]

Oddly worded, isn't it? Would a chapel women's choir be acceptable then? A group seems to indicate more than two - but it i not clear. Am very cross. NOT happy at all.

[ladysunrope.livejournal.com]

Well done!!! I would also ask -what is a group to them? Two? three? I often go away with my daughter, my mother and me. We are all the same sex!

Ah..but somehow we would have 'not bonking' on our foreheads. Obviously! Sheesh.

[ismenin.livejournal.com]

I know. Sad is it not? Very poorly worded. Wonder if they'd allow our chapel choir there?

[mother2012.livejournal.com]

Well, to be fair, 'family oriented' does kind of imply that they aren't looking for chapel choirs. That may be the reason for their odd wording - that they can discriminate against gay couples by turning away 'groups' that are not families.

Which, of course, does not change the irksomeness of it. Children need to see gay couples in normal surroundings so that they can get past their parents prejudice.

[primula-baggins.livejournal.com]

Obviously what they are implying is that they don't want gay couples with children staying there. That's what it sounds like to me. I'm not sure what the laws about this are even in the US. I don't know if hotels have the right to turn away anyone. I would think they could only turn away people based on inability to pay or because they were violent or would tear the place up. But to discriminate based on anything else, I don't know.

I know for housing, like renting an apartment, there are definitely laws here protecting against discrimination. But that doesn't mean discrimination doesn't happen anyway, it's just disguised.

I will be interested in knowing their reply to you, if they do reply.

[ismenin.livejournal.com]

Yup, me too, Prim. I think they should re-word the whole darn thing. But I bet they don't answer. :(

[elouisa.livejournal.com]

I read that statement as slightly different to you as a friend of my dad's is a B&B owner and he has sort of the same statement on the adverts he places. When he states he doesn't want "single gender group bookings" he means the booking by groups of twenty something lads out on the piss for a stag weekend who would end up boozing and throwing up and making mess and noise in his place. That's what I think this advert means too.

If they want to be seen as a friendly quiet family place, many venues do bar groups of lads or lasses from booking at the same time to avoid such occurences. Maybe the wording could be a little clearer but I know for a fact my dad's friend would not turn away a single sex couple from his b&b. If it were 5-6 blokes or 5-6 women at the same time obviously out for a weekend on the piss he'd turn them away to avoid the disruption.

[ismenin.livejournal.com]

No, elousia, my love. You are not getting my point. If you read answers to other posts you will see what I mean.

It very well may be that they don't want gangs of rugby fans out on the piss staying there - but that's not what it says.
If they had meant that, they could have said "no stag or hen nights catered for. No rugby or football groups."

But it didn't SAY that. That's my point. A gay couple looking at that might think "What does "single gender group bookings" mean?"

This is an £80 a night hotel, not a b&b, and it is small and would not have room for such groups as rugby fans.

I just think the wording is very ambiguous, and designed to put off certain valid gender groups by leaving out what should be included. That's all. A gay couple - of either sex - would not wish to risk a rebuff of this kind. I know I wouldn't.

My sister and two friends and I shared a room in London. But not, it seems, here, in our home. And we are all straight. I see a flag out. Beware The Gay. I hope they amend the wording. xxx

[silvermere.livejournal.com]

Sorry - but I'm with elouisa - I really think that it is a family hotel i.e. not for groups of 16 year olds (usually same sex) who will come back at 3 in the morning pissed out of their heads and wake everyone (including the kiddies, who you have tried so hard to get to bed and sleep) up. God I must be getting old!!

[ismenin.livejournal.com]

Well, you're not as old as me, kiddo, I'll bet. :D

And it's too small (and expensive and exclusive) an hotel for that. My prob is with the wording. See my answer to eloisa. xxx

[chickenlegs-11.livejournal.com]

I didn't at first realise this was aimed at gay couples. At first I thought what could be their problem with say an all-male or all-female sports club booking the hotel? Maybe too much partying and boozing for quiet families to cope with?

I wonder how long before the Equal Opportunity or Anti-Discrimination laws come to bite them on the bum. In Australia you can't discriminate on the basis of gender, sexual orientation or gender identity in employment, accommodation, club membership etc. So I'd assume there are similar laws in Wales. All it will take is for a formal complaint to be made and they will probably be forced to retract that rule.

[ismenin.livejournal.com]

Well, as I have said in previous replies, I am not sure it means what it says and perhaps it is indeed aimed at large groups of men out on the razzle. BUT...this is an exclusive - and expensive - small hotel, so to me it looks as if they are refusing same sex groups of two. They need to re-word it, and get into line with what is happening in the world today. I hope they answer and inform me that they DO take gay couples, but I'm not holding out much hope. :D

[lostlollipop.livejournal.com]

If this does indeed imply what it seems it does... it's just too disgusting for words. Also rather surprising, because I thought the attitude in Britain to same sex couples seems overall pretty good (my brother and his husband live in London). Good on you I say, Issi!

[ismenin.livejournal.com]

Yes, I'm very concerned at the wording. I'm still hoping they are going to answer me. Thank you for your support - I shall wear it always! ;D

[foxykc.livejournal.com]

go you!!!!

[ismenin.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Foxy Lady! xx

[janejanejane.livejournal.com]

I'm right there with you, dear Issi, if that advertisement means what you think it means, although it is worded vaguely and doesn't seem clear in its meaning. I'll be very interested to read their reply, if they do send one. Discrimination against gay couples is totally unacceptable.

[ismenin.livejournal.com]

Yup, the wording is very ambiguous. Still hoping for clarification. Not too confident! xx