Hobart Drizzle - 3
Oct. 6th, 2009 11:10 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ismeninNow, I KNOW I have posted this here before - and ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
tweedle_ has been kind enough to post the others on her new humour site, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
lotr_glee - if you like anyone's funny tales, they're all going to be filed there - but this one is missing for some reason. So I thought I'd make it easier for her to find by re-posting it here!
AND if you have funny stories that are LOTR RPS or FPS based, that's the place to store them. It's great!
EDIT: I found it posted on June 20th. But I'll leave it here cos it's easier for her to find! Hugs Tweedle. xxxxx
Hobart Drizzle was as jealous as all hell. He had thought of Dom Monotonos as his own, special rimmer, for no-one oiled Hobe's rims like Dom. But here he was, in broad daylight, sponging down a strange vehicle, and on his boss's own garage floor, too.
Hobart straightened his shoulders as far as his new tan jacket would allow - it was rather tight around the axles - and humpled forward in a congealed rage.
"Whose vehicle is that, Dom, that you are polishing so purply?" Hobe inqueered, brightly.
Dom looked up at him, and Hobart's stomach turned over. Dom's eyes were so...masterful, and ...gray. "Why, Mr Driz...er, Hobart...its my very own Plumper 2.6 rambottle injection thruster that I got at the auction last week. Needed a bit of work, but now she's as good as new."
Hobart folded his lips, his arms, his legs, and narrowly missed crossing his eyes, too. Had Dom been using his working hours to fix his vehicle?
As if he heard, Dom's face flushed an attracible hue, and he muttered. "Did it all in my own time, Mr Drizzle. Ain't spent a minute on it as was paid time, no sir."
Hobart grinned. "I didn't think you would, Dom. You are totally devoted to my cam-shaft, that I do know!"
Dom nodded. "I cribbled your plumbibs, too, sir. They looked a little sleazy."
Dom stood there, twisting his nozzler, looking as if he had a flavour to ask his boss.
"Would you like to take a turn in her, Hobart?" he vented. "I'm going as far as Dribbly Knob to try out her new credenza I just layered in."
Hobart signed, deeply. Dribbly Knob was one of his all-time favourite places. And to go there with Dom - Dom, with his gray eyes sparking, and his newly-layered credenza. What could be better?
He told Dom to wait for a minute and ran indoors to get a couple of cans of beer and a few chicken pieces he'd put by for his dinner. They could share!
Hobart tried very hard to keep his hands off Dom whilst he was driving. A couple of days before they'd nearly had a nasty accent when on the highway between Sally's Bumps and Hardman's Rock when he'd invertedly put his hand on Dom's stopper. It must not happen again.
It was late in the afterglow when they arrived at the spot. The sun was a big red ball in the sky, and Hobart noticed a man standing nearby, pointing his camera at the rock in the valet below them.
Then Hobart noticed it was Emile Spotto, his once arch-enema.
"Hello, Mr Drizzle, sir," Spotto grovelled in the dust at Hobart's feet. "Nice to see you, again."
"Hello, Emile," Hobart reposted. Once upon a time he would have politely called him "Mr Spotto", but now, things were different, and it was Hobart who was the head honcho in these parts.
"What are you doing here, with your camera an' all?" Hobart quested. He wasn't really interested, but it was best to be polite.
Emile blushed a deep, dark red, and fiddled with his ball-cap."I'm er, taking a picture of my wife, Mr Drizzle, sir."
Hobart looked about him, but there was no woman to be seen, not of either sex. His left eyebrow rose, and Emile, unused to such close scrutiny from the richest man in the county, grew even redder, if it was possible.
Dom coughed loudly, and jerked his head at Hobart, twitching his nose at the same time. Hobart found this most ergotic, because he loved Dom with a deep and abiding pashmina, but he wandered what it meant. "Well, I won't keep you, Emile. Nice to have seen you!" and Emile scampered off, relief apparent in every paw.
Hobart waited until Emile's old Citrus has wobbled its way down the track, then turned to Dom, a queer in his eye.
"What was all that about, Dom? What wife?" asked Hobart, pulling the bag with the food out of the back seat and spreading his coat for them to sit on.
Dom coughed, then joined Hobart on the right sleeve. "Emile has fallen hard, Hobe. He's married Dribbly Knob."
Hobart nearly choked on his chicken leg, and washed it down with a mouseful of beer."You mean to tell me he married a rock, Dom?"
Dom picked up a bit of chicken and started chewing. "He sure did, Hobe. Said she was a sight more attractive than the first Mrs Spotto was, at any rate."
Hobart stared hard at Dribbly Knob. It was tall, and thick, and hard, and very red indeed, and a small trickle of water could be seen coming out of a hole in the top, and running down the side.
"Damned if I see what the attraction is - do you?"
Dom tucked in his wimbles - he had trouble placing them, sometimes - so he could sit more comfortably"Well, Mr Drizzle - Hobart, I mean. He's right. That rock's a damn sight prettier than Ordrangia Spotto ever was."
Hobe took another bite of chicken, and felt glad to the depths of his sole that he'd never cast his eyes on Mrs Spotto.
"So," Dom asked, shyly. "What did you think of her, Hobe? My Plumper, I mean?"
Hobart Drizzle smiled. "She's real cute, Dom. I'd marry her, any day!"
Dom felt a warmth crimp down to his very toes. Hobe loves my Plumper! he thought, delightfully. No man could ask for more.
tweedle_ has been kind enough to post the others on her new humour site, lotr_glee - if you like anyone's funny tales, they're all going to be filed there - but this one is missing for some reason. So I thought I'd make it easier for her to find by re-posting it here!AND if you have funny stories that are LOTR RPS or FPS based, that's the place to store them. It's great!
EDIT: I found it posted on June 20th. But I'll leave it here cos it's easier for her to find! Hugs Tweedle. xxxxx
Hobart Drizzle was as jealous as all hell. He had thought of Dom Monotonos as his own, special rimmer, for no-one oiled Hobe's rims like Dom. But here he was, in broad daylight, sponging down a strange vehicle, and on his boss's own garage floor, too.
Hobart straightened his shoulders as far as his new tan jacket would allow - it was rather tight around the axles - and humpled forward in a congealed rage.
"Whose vehicle is that, Dom, that you are polishing so purply?" Hobe inqueered, brightly.
Dom looked up at him, and Hobart's stomach turned over. Dom's eyes were so...masterful, and ...gray. "Why, Mr Driz...er, Hobart...its my very own Plumper 2.6 rambottle injection thruster that I got at the auction last week. Needed a bit of work, but now she's as good as new."
Hobart folded his lips, his arms, his legs, and narrowly missed crossing his eyes, too. Had Dom been using his working hours to fix his vehicle?
As if he heard, Dom's face flushed an attracible hue, and he muttered. "Did it all in my own time, Mr Drizzle. Ain't spent a minute on it as was paid time, no sir."
Hobart grinned. "I didn't think you would, Dom. You are totally devoted to my cam-shaft, that I do know!"
Dom nodded. "I cribbled your plumbibs, too, sir. They looked a little sleazy."
Dom stood there, twisting his nozzler, looking as if he had a flavour to ask his boss.
"Would you like to take a turn in her, Hobart?" he vented. "I'm going as far as Dribbly Knob to try out her new credenza I just layered in."
Hobart signed, deeply. Dribbly Knob was one of his all-time favourite places. And to go there with Dom - Dom, with his gray eyes sparking, and his newly-layered credenza. What could be better?
He told Dom to wait for a minute and ran indoors to get a couple of cans of beer and a few chicken pieces he'd put by for his dinner. They could share!
Hobart tried very hard to keep his hands off Dom whilst he was driving. A couple of days before they'd nearly had a nasty accent when on the highway between Sally's Bumps and Hardman's Rock when he'd invertedly put his hand on Dom's stopper. It must not happen again.
It was late in the afterglow when they arrived at the spot. The sun was a big red ball in the sky, and Hobart noticed a man standing nearby, pointing his camera at the rock in the valet below them.
Then Hobart noticed it was Emile Spotto, his once arch-enema.
"Hello, Mr Drizzle, sir," Spotto grovelled in the dust at Hobart's feet. "Nice to see you, again."
"Hello, Emile," Hobart reposted. Once upon a time he would have politely called him "Mr Spotto", but now, things were different, and it was Hobart who was the head honcho in these parts.
"What are you doing here, with your camera an' all?" Hobart quested. He wasn't really interested, but it was best to be polite.
Emile blushed a deep, dark red, and fiddled with his ball-cap."I'm er, taking a picture of my wife, Mr Drizzle, sir."
Hobart looked about him, but there was no woman to be seen, not of either sex. His left eyebrow rose, and Emile, unused to such close scrutiny from the richest man in the county, grew even redder, if it was possible.
Dom coughed loudly, and jerked his head at Hobart, twitching his nose at the same time. Hobart found this most ergotic, because he loved Dom with a deep and abiding pashmina, but he wandered what it meant. "Well, I won't keep you, Emile. Nice to have seen you!" and Emile scampered off, relief apparent in every paw.
Hobart waited until Emile's old Citrus has wobbled its way down the track, then turned to Dom, a queer in his eye.
"What was all that about, Dom? What wife?" asked Hobart, pulling the bag with the food out of the back seat and spreading his coat for them to sit on.
Dom coughed, then joined Hobart on the right sleeve. "Emile has fallen hard, Hobe. He's married Dribbly Knob."
Hobart nearly choked on his chicken leg, and washed it down with a mouseful of beer."You mean to tell me he married a rock, Dom?"
Dom picked up a bit of chicken and started chewing. "He sure did, Hobe. Said she was a sight more attractive than the first Mrs Spotto was, at any rate."
Hobart stared hard at Dribbly Knob. It was tall, and thick, and hard, and very red indeed, and a small trickle of water could be seen coming out of a hole in the top, and running down the side.
"Damned if I see what the attraction is - do you?"
Dom tucked in his wimbles - he had trouble placing them, sometimes - so he could sit more comfortably"Well, Mr Drizzle - Hobart, I mean. He's right. That rock's a damn sight prettier than Ordrangia Spotto ever was."
Hobe took another bite of chicken, and felt glad to the depths of his sole that he'd never cast his eyes on Mrs Spotto.
"So," Dom asked, shyly. "What did you think of her, Hobe? My Plumper, I mean?"
Hobart Drizzle smiled. "She's real cute, Dom. I'd marry her, any day!"
Dom felt a warmth crimp down to his very toes. Hobe loves my Plumper! he thought, delightfully. No man could ask for more.
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no subject
Date: 2009-10-06 11:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-09 01:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-06 01:58 pm (UTC)Oh, I really need to get back to work. :) *still giggling*
no subject
Date: 2009-10-09 01:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-06 02:19 pm (UTC)*giggle*
I love how you write these using wrong words and double entendres. So entertaining. As I've mentioned before, it's quite Lennon-esque.
no subject
Date: 2009-10-09 01:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-06 07:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-09 01:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-09 09:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-06 08:08 pm (UTC)XXXX
no subject
Date: 2009-10-09 01:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-09 04:22 pm (UTC)Hugses back XXXX
no subject
Date: 2009-10-06 11:19 pm (UTC)Dear heavens! This is brilliant. Every word has at least twenty meanings and each more amusing than the last.
I laughed so hard that I may need a good jump-start to get moving again.
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Date: 2009-10-09 02:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-09 02:15 pm (UTC)