A little Bit of Nonsense.

[ismenin]

Aha! This is one of my dear friends - Ms Anon - wearing Elijah's waistcoat (vest) and moon boots from The Ice Storm. Yes, they are! In my box they sit!

My dear friend tweedle_ put up a post in some Comment Fic thing which I'm too tired to remember where or what it's called, and I responded (in the comments, as you'd guess), to a lickel fic she wanted containing The DomLijah and 'Gone With The Wind'. How could I resist?


So here it is.


No beta, as is obvious. Well, who'd be daft enough to beta a comment? :D



Elijah sat under the tree, his long, dark hair blowing in the breeze, as his pellucid blue eyes strayed to the big house that was Tara. One day - one day - he would own it again, and live there, with Dom...Dom! his one true love, and part-time coach-driver.

"Master Elijah?" came the soft voice, and Elijah, tipping up his head, looked up into the stormy grey eyes he adored, and swallowed convulsively.

"Master Elijah?" the Voice said, again, "Your cousin, Miss Scarlett, said I was to drive you over as far as Mister Ashley's place. There is a party going on there for him and Mister Butler, who are going off to the wars...again... and Miss Scarlett said you must go, but be sure not tell anyone there that she made her dress from the drapes from the privvy window."

Elijah stood; he was stiff, and had been sitting there since just after breakfast. His bum was damp.

"She shouldn't worry about that, Dom - they'll know it for themselves, if the mucous membranes in their noses are working properly."

He took Dom's hand as he tried to brush the grass off his pants, and losing his balance, tumbled into Dom's willing arms.

"Hold me tight, Dom - I'm afraid Miss Scarlett wants to get her hands into my pants, and my pants are for you, alone, Dom - my Dom - my little English pumpkin!"

"There, there, Mr Frodo - er, Master Elijah - don't you fret. Miss Scarlett has set her eyes on Mister Butler's more...obvious... assets, and can't wait to get her pretty hands on his bundles."

"Thank God!" Says Elijah, sinking further into Dom's all-enveloping embrace. "Tell me truly, Dom, will I ever live in Tara again, do you think? Will my hands ever again shuck corn on the back porch? Will they?"

Dom stared at him. "Didn't know you knew there was a back porch, Lijah. I thought that you left all that domestic stuff to Miss Scarlett, and Mammy, and that stupid girl with the screechy voice."

Elijah frowned. "It is easy to see you is a foreigner, Mister Monaghan. No self-respecting Southerner dies without having shucked at least one cob of corn. Land's sakes alive! and Button my Breeches, Monaghan, you do disappoint me!"

"Do I?" Dom's voice was husky with lust, as he stared at his beloved. "What say we say to hell with the party, and I help you with your...shucking...somewheres private?"

Elijah's breath hitched. That was a very fine suggestion. He thought he needed shucking lessons, and here he was being offered them by the love of his heart.

"Very well, Dom, but I leave it to you to tell Miss Scarlett why you didn't bring me to the party. You'll have to think of something good!"

Dom smiled. "We have all night - after the shucking - to think of an excuse, my Lij. After all - tomorrow is another day!"

Comments

[tristanpaulus.livejournal.com]

This amused me.

[ismenin.livejournal.com]

So happy it made you smile, kiddo! :D xxx

[hanarobi.livejournal.com]

Oh. My. God. You have done the South a great service in writing this fic, because after reading it there is just no way the South will not "rise again." *cracks up laughing*

Favorite line without a doubt: His bum was damp.

[ismenin.livejournal.com]

My forebears are glad to hear it. :D

His bum was damp. It rains everywhere, even in the South! ;D xxx

[slipperieslope.livejournal.com]

Aw shucks! All my southern genes are shrieking in horror, but the rest of me is laughing.

*shucks corn*

Oh yeah, there was a pile of corn cobs on every southerner's back porch. And I know where we got the expression 'rough as a cob' from, me dear. Just so you know, 'cause I definitely get the impression Dom is a 'back porch man'.

LOL

[ismenin.livejournal.com]

Well, I have some forebears out there, too, and they gave me permission to get silly with stuff. :D

Dom certainly is a 'back proch' kinda chap, what? A real shucker, too, methinks. ;D xxx

[escapist-art.livejournal.com]

Dom stared at him. "Didn't know you knew there was a back porch, Lijah. I thought that you left all that domestic stuff to Miss Scarlett, and Mammy, and that stupid girl with the screechy voice." lol

[ismenin.livejournal.com]

Glad it made you smile, hon! ;D xxx

[http://users.livejournal.com/tweedle_/]

*g*, can I just say.

And thank you for playing. :D It is really hard to find the little buggers as the comments and prompts keep growing and they end up with 5 or 6 pages of 'em!

Once stuff has been written their magic codemonkeys's move the fic into Indexes and Lonely Prompts/RPS/Lotr and the newest fics are at the bottom of the list.

Indexes and Lonely Prompts is accessed by a link at comment_fic.

There are woefully few prompts or comments for Dom/Lij or Orli/Elijah and none Dom/Billy at all!

What is the world coming to?!

Hobbit Fanciers of the World Unite!

:D

[ismenin.livejournal.com]

Thanks for putting the linkie poo there, me dear!

I want DomLijah slashy fic! And I want it NOW! :D Dammit. Why are folks not writing it? I think they make a much more realistic pair than VigOrli! :D xxx

[ourdramaqueen.livejournal.com]

*tries not to snigger too loudly 'cause she's at work*

Gee, that pic looks familiar somehow... ;D

[ismenin.livejournal.com]

That pic should look very familiar!

Funnily enough, I have pics of another three of the gals wearing the very same stuff! Giggles. :D xxx

[mews1945.livejournal.com]

I love this ficlet. It's so funny.

[ismenin.livejournal.com]

Thank you, sweetums! Glad you enjoyed! :D xxx

[janejanejane.livejournal.com]

Heheheh... I enjoyed this, thanks! :-)

XXXX

[ismenin.livejournal.com]

I think the boi needs lessons! ;D xxx

[janejanejane.livejournal.com]

Yes indeed ;0)