A Regency Tale 16

[ismenin]

Hello there! The snow has vanished - I hope it doesn't come back! I missed two appointments because of it - damned white stuff. Pretty, but I can't get about in it. Brrrr! :D

I know several girls are not about to read this, but this is for those who ARE here, after all. Dom n Lij find out what they want.


Here we go!



Thanks as always to my indefatigable beta lady Sunrope.




Part 16 - An Unwelcome Freedom

Dom stood, frozen, in front of Elijah for a few seconds, but he did not answer him. He reached down and ungently pulled Elijah to his feet, held him with a grip like iron, and stared, with a savage expression on his face, into his eyes.

Then the look softened, and Dom, not slackening his grip on Elijah by so much as an inch, bent his head and kissed him, hard.

Elijah struggled within his arms, but it was useless. Dom was far stronger than he, and, for the moment, held the upper hand. "Let me go, damn you!" Elijah panted, when he could draw breath. Dom laughed into his cheek, and kissed him again.

Suddenly, all the fight went out of Elijah, and he returned the kiss with fervour, and when it was over, he laid his head on Dom's shoulder, and whispered "Oh, Dom...Dom, my love..."

Dom did not answer him, but firmly replaced him in the chair, and stood before him his arms folded, his face white with some emotion that it was hard to interpret.

"You will sit there, Lij, and you will not move as much as a muscle until I have finished what I wish to say, as I have listened to you."

"Let me tell you I have called men out on less provocation than you have given me today. How dare you say I bought you to whore for me, when I love you more than any earthly thing? Elijah, have you lost your senses? No, do not speak, I have not yet finished."

"I asked you to come with me because I love you, and I have wanted you since the moment I first saw you - you know this, for I have told you of it. When I had known you one month, I cast about me for a way to return to you your money, without losing you any of your dignity. I told you, in the bedroom that night, that I absolved you of all indebtedness to me. Now, you throw it back in my face because of something you heard, before taxing me with the problem."

Elijah sat staring up at Dom, his face as white and miserable as was Dom's. He said nothing, however, and Dom continued his tirade in a low voice, his lips white and trembling with emotion.

"Why do you think I spoke to Ceddy of you in such a fashion? Does no explanation leap to your mind? You know I love you, so why do you think I did it? Since Ceddy arrived I have told you, on several occasions, that he had a loose tongue. Not for worlds would I have confided in him my true feelings for you. I can well imagine what would have happened if I had sat here like a moonling, sighing rhapsodies to your left eyebrow, and declared to him my everlasting love for you! All our acquaintance in London would have been party to the conversation within a week."

"Therefore, I determined, before he brought up the subject, that I would treat it in a light fashion - allow him to think it had been nothing to either of us. I wanted to protect you from harmful gossip, so I pretended it had been nothing. But you know it is not nothing to me, for I love you above all things, and I always will. Perhaps I was wrong - but I know Ceddy better than anyone, and I still think I was right."

Dom sighed deeply, but unfolded his arms, and the tension he seemed to be labouring under lessened somewhat.

"My mistake, if there was one, was not telling you are immediately what I had done; but you were ill, so I thought, so I determined to leave it until we had returned to London, when I would explain it all to you at our leisure."

Dom's head turned sharply as he heard Cedric's voice shouting his name from the carriage, and he quickly went to the window, and opening it, called to his friend that he would be only one moment longer.

Returning to Elijah, who had not moved, he looked at him with a gentler expression in his eyes. "I do make allowances for the fact that you have never loved or been loved by anyone as I have loved you, Lij, else I would have knocked you down for what you have today said to me. But I know full well how life has treated you, and I am not so harsh. I love you still - and will always love you, but I cannot continue in this way unless we come to an understanding."

"I trust you with my life, and will have you trust me, too, to do nothing that will harm or endanger you. You must trust me, Lij, otherwise what we have had together these past weeks will be lost. I wish you had waited for my explanation before blowing up like a firecracker. Therefore, I will give you one month to decide what it is you wish of our relationship - whether it will continue, or not. During this time I will not come near you, but at the end of four weeks, you may expect me, for I will come. It is entirely up to you what you decide."

"Good-bye, my love, for now..." - Elijah would have spoken, here, but Dom put up his hand. "...In four weeks you may tell me what you feel, my Lij. I would hear you then, and only then."

Dom picked up Elijah's nerveless hand, and kissed it, then hurried out of the room. In a few moments Elijah heard the carriage leave the forecourt, and he leaned against the back of the chair and put his hand over his eyes. His feelings were very mixed, for he loved Dom, but he had hated him when he had heard him, through the window, say those words. Now he understood perfectly why Dom had said what he had - it made complete sense to him. Why had he not stopped to reason within himself regarding what it had all meant? He was confused - not entirely sure what he was going to do. He was angry and heartsore at Dom's seeming perfidy. He had to think and it seemed, he would now have some time to do so. He would use it to full advantage.

Elijah picked up the little puppy, which was resting his tiny head on his boots, and held him close.


*******

Elijah's return to his London home was hailed with a relief by the staff, half of whom seem to be labouring with trunks, valises and packing cases in the great hallway. His butler, bowing low, informed him that her Grace had decided a visit to the Continent would do her good, and, because she had decided to take her daughter with her, Lady Hannah had returned from the country to accompany her mother.

"And I need not scruple to tell your Grace that her Ladyship is in high fettle, and does not mind, in the slightest, accompanying her Grace abroad."

Elijah, determining where his sister was, went into the Green Saloon to greet her.

Hannah was a pretty little thing, not so much as five feet tall in her stockinged feet, and had a charming, heart-shaped countenance, and glossy dark brown ringlets framed it very prettily. Seeing her brother enter the room, she leapt from her chair and enveloped him in a comprehensive embrace.

After he had enjoined her to abate her raptures, he cast his eye over his sister, who appeared to be in excellent health, and far stouter than she appeared when last he saw her.

"Mama has gone to tell the Devonshires that she is leaving. Why she could not send them a note, I do not understand, Lij. It is ever her way to make things complicated."

Elijah remarked that his sister seemed very pleased to be accompanying her mother, and wondered aloud what had brought on the change.

"We are going to cousin Phanie in Paris, Lij! The clothes! The balls! The dress shops! And I dare say I will not spend one day in ten with Mama with six lively and charming cousins to keep me company, and all her French friends to pander to her every whim. You need feel no concern on my behalf, brother, I intend to have a wonderful sojourn there."

She cast an appraising glance over her brother, and remarked that he was looking very well indeed. "Wherever have you been, Lij? No one seems to know, and Mama commented it was all of a piece since you no longer tell her of your doings. She told me it was not the first time you had gone missing without explanation."

Here, a wide smile broadened her pretty mouth. "I do hope you have been enjoying yourself, Lij - you seem... different somehow."

Elijah smiled, and squeezed his sister's hand. "I am very well, Hannah, and I see you are too. I am sorry that we shall have such a short time together, but I know you will enjoy yourself in France. What time do you leave?"

Hannah informed him that the boat was leaving at three, and that Mama had promised to be home at in time for luncheon. "But, as you know, she cannot be relied upon to do anything. If she does not return by twelve thirty, I command you that you go to the Devonshires and bring her to me. I cannot wait a week for the next boat. I wish we had one of our own, it would be so much simpler. Now, what on earth have I said to make you blush, brother?"

Elijah laughed, and, hearing a loud shrill voice issuing from the hallway, went out to greet his mother, who, in her typical, indifferent fashion, greeted him as if he had merely been in the next room, not absent from her presence for weeks. Elijah was glad of it. He was thus spared any questions he did not wish to answer.


He accompanied them, later, to the quay, and bowed his mother on board, kissing her hand and hugging Hannah tight.

" I would not be surprised, little sister, to find you return with a French Duc on your arm - and, at least, you will be allowed a little more freedom there than you are in London society, Mama," he said, bowing over his mother's hand once more.

He stayed there until the specks on board were too small to be recognised, and then he returned, thoughtfully, to his house.

It seemed unfilial in him to be glad to have the house to himself, free from his mother's intemperate behaviour, but he was glad. He needed peace and quiet to work things out in his mind, and something to occupy the hours he was not devoting to thinking of Dom. There were several changes that he intended to make, and the moment he returned to the house, he asked his secretary if he had sent a note to his agent to attend him as soon as it may be convenient to him.

James, having assured the Duke that he had done so, brought out the account books and show Elijah what was going forward within his household. Elijah folded his lips tightly together when he discovered that his mother had been extracting large amounts from the money his trustees allowed Elijah for the household accounts. As she had her own, most generous allowance, this, James said, with extreme tact, threw the whole accounting system into confusion, as the trustees had not made allowances for such withdrawals.

Elijah pressed his lips together, and informed James that no-one - no-one was, in future, to withdraw any money from these accounts without his - Elijah's - express permission, ordinary household expenses and needs being excepted.

"I am very pleased to hear your Grace say so. It has been very... difficult for me to balance the books satisfactorily," said the young secretary, hearing these strictures with obvious relief.

Elijah smiled up at him. James was a most reliable employee, and, what was more, Elijah liked and trusted the young man. Thoughts of trust brought Dom forcibly into his mind, and he wondered what his love was doing now.

At about six o clock he dashed off a quick note, and sent a footman with it to Barney's lodgings, to see if his friend was free for dinner, and took several letters awaiting his attention into the library.

They were invitations and as most of the events had long passed, all could be discarded except for one. It was from the Prince Regent inviting him to a soireeon the coming Friday, two days away. This could not be ignored, as the Regent expected all the gentlemen and nobles he invited to these select gatherings, to attend, unless they were too sick to rise from their beds.

Elijah disliked these occasions. As no ladies were present, the company did not need to moderate either its language or behaviour, as, usually, the Prince had had brought in women of dubious morals and invited the men present to make free of them on the tables in the billiard room whilst he stood by and applauded. This was the case on this occasion also, and Elijah, disgusted, went with one or two others into a side room, and drank the Regent's best port, listening to the shrieks and catcalls emanating from the adjoining rooms.

"..for if I wath minded to take one of Prinny'th poxthed whoreth - which I am not, Duke - I'm sure I would find thome more comfortable, and leth public thpot to do it, than a damned hard billiard table!" Lord Petersham lisped to Elijah, annoyed.

Elijah agreed and turned the subject to one of Petersham's favourite subjects - snuff - and accepted a little of his Lordship's new mixture with a smiling face. He had just ingested it when the door opened, and Dom came in. He stopped dead on the threshhold seeing Elijah there, but Lord Sefton, beckoned him forward.

"Come in, Dom, my friend! It is dull work in here listening to Stanford and Petersham prosing on about snuff and tea! Come and take a hand with us" - here he indicated three men sitting at a small card table - "and those two idiots can get on with it!"

Elijah who had breathed in the snuff at Dom's unlooked-for arrival, coughed loudly, smiled at Lord Sefton, and accepted Lord Petersham's proffered handkerchief, as he could not find his own.

Dom bowed to both men, saying quietly, "'Servant, your Grace - Petersham, yours," before joining Lord Sefton at the table.

Lord Sefton, an older man, with iron grey grizzled hair, and a loud, penetrating voice, cast a knowledgeable eye over Dom. "Been drawing the bustle, Monaghan, Eh? Eh? You look a trifle down-pin to me. Where have you been these long weeks? M' wife missed you - she was hoping to dance with you at her ball, you must know."

Elijah, listening to his companion with half an ear was trying in vain to catch what Dom was saying, but he could not, as he had his back turned to Elijah at the table, and was speaking in a low tone from a fair distance. It was a large salon and Elijah could not move to listen further without appearing most impolite.

Elijah, almost feeling Dom's presence at his back, wondered how long it could be before he could take his leave of the room, and find less...disturbing company. He could hear Dom laughing at the table, and he longed to join in.

A respite came when three more men entered, and Elijah, leaving Lord Petersham amicably chatting to them, politely excused himself and left the room.

He sat alone for an hour in a small room adjoining the library and read a book. He then judged by the quiet that had overcome the house that it was safe to emerge from his seclusion. He was right. The women had gone and he found the Regent and his cronies drinking brandy in one of the salons and laughing loudly at some amusing story Mr Brummell had told them.

"...I had to give him the cut direct, for you must understand, Wales, that I cannot tolerate entertaining an acquaintance with a man who owns to eating eels! By God, that is outside of enough!" the Beau concluded, to general applause.

Elijah was drawn into the conversation, for the Regent was an agreeable and thoughtful host, and neglected none of his guests, therefore another hour passed before the men, who had graced the card table, entered the room.

Dom went to sit beside Elijah, who, he saw was wearing his aloof expression. He did nothing to jeopardize the situation, and conversed, with easy grace, with the Duke and several other guests who had joined them.

When the party eventually broke up, it was past one in the morning, and Elijah was tired, and unhappy at meeting Dom before he had thought things over very carefully indeed. Dom bowed to him on the front doorstep in a friendly, but formal manner, and Elijah did the same. Dom walked off down the street with Lord Sefton, leaving Elijah to climb into his carriage and be driven home.

Elijah spent the short journey pondering on the paleness of Dom's complexion and the slightly hooded eyes that usually resulted from sleepless nights. Therefore, when he arrived home, he dismissed his valet as soon as possible and carefully studied his reflection in the mirror. He was pale, it was true, but the balmy Irish air and the sun had slightly coloured his usual pallor, so that now, his creamy skin looked, to him, merely a sign of his good health.

He appeared, to his own eyes, in considerably better skin than Dom, at any rate, and this thought caused a heavy feeling in Elijah's stomach as he climbed into his enormous bed. The golden gryphons, clutching the curtain at the head of it in their talons, stared down impassively as the duke tried to sleep. However, Dom interrupted even his dreams, so that Elijah gained little rest that night, waking as heavy-eyed as Dom had been the night before.

No message had come from Barney, so Elijah supposed that he was out of town. This proved to be true, as Elijah walked in through the door of Jackson's saloon he met one of Barney's cronies who said that his friend was visiting in Wales again. "His grandmama must be leaving Barney a huge sum, Duke, as he has danced attendance on her several times this year."

Elijah, who knew where Barney had most likely gone, calmly agreed to this, and, as he stripped for his session with the single stick, resolved to tell Barney, on his return, to find a different excuse, as this one seemed to be wearing a trifle thin.

He enjoyed an hour or so with Jackson's most skilled opponent, and learned a few tricks that even Dom...

Banishing him from his mind, he washed and returned home.

He found Whitney hovering in the hall, waiting for him. As two footmen divested Elijah of his hat, cane and gloves, Elijah nooded to his butler who came forward with a bow.

"Desire Mr James to come to me in the study, and we will discuss matters there."

The three men spent a profitable hour talking over household matters, and when Elijah's agent, Rawlings, travelling post from Stanford Park, arrived some time later, Elijah was shocked to discover that his mother had been taking money from every one of Elijah's houses and estates each time she visited one.

Elijah slapped his hand on the desk in frustration. "Why has no one told me of these...depredations?" he said, forcibly, looking at Rawlings, extreme annoyance writ large on his face.

Rawlings held out his hands in a gesture betokening futility. "It has always been so, your Grace. Your late father...allowed the expense because...well, it was easier to do so than to not. And your Grace is the possessor of an enormous fortune..."

Elijah rose and paced about the room, his agitation apparent to the three men. "But you know, Rawlings - no-one better - that I am not in possession of this fortune for nearly five more years, unless I marry. Did you think the estates, thus encumbered by such ravages, could continue to support such losses?"

Rawlings shook his head, numbly. He had not known the Duke was interested in financial matters, or he might have mentioned it before now.

Elijah, correctly interpreting the look, said, more calmly. "Well, it is true I had not given much thought, before, to such matters. But things are different, now - and I tell you it must stop!"

He sat down again. "Are you aware, Rawlings, of the amount her Grace was allotted from my father's estate after his death?"

The man cleared his throat. "Yes, your Grace. I am."

"And you thought the allowance paltry? Twenty thousand a year, if memory serves?"

Rawlings lowered his head. "No, your Grace. It is excessively generous."

Elijah looked up at him and smiled. "Well, there will be no more of it, gentlemen. Rawlings, you will inform the bailiffs on each of my estates - and the housekeepers in every one of my residences - that, in future, her Grace will not be removing one penny piece from the accounts. I will not have it! I will inform her Grace of it as soon as she returns to these shores."

The three men looked at the Duke with respect. "Rawlings, have you any idea how much has been...removed ...by her Grace since his Grace's death?"

The agent looked at Elijah, meeting his gaze with a look that was wary as well as honest.

"A little above twenty thousand, your Grace. In six months."

There was a slight pause whilst Elijah ingested this information. "It seems to me, therefore, that with these monies remaining in my accounts in future, I should be able to live in some comfort on this amount, until I come of age. And the estates will flourish, having part of this amount spent on repairs and incidentals. Thank you all," he said, warmly, looking at the three men standing before him. "I am obliged to you for your honesty and forbearance. We will meet, Rawlings, every Quarter Day to discuss these matters, whether I am in the country or town, until I am satisfied things are once more upon a secure footing. I will apprise you of my whereabouts. Now, you two may go," he said to James and Rawlings. "Whitney will show me the cellars as I wish to see them. Good day to you - and thank you, again."


Later that night, the three men sat in the upper servants sitting room, and privately discussed the matter.

"Who knew the little man had so much strength of will? I never before had even as much as a glimpse of it!" remarked a surprised Mr Rawlings, downing a third glass of his Grace's second best port.

James nodded. "He has certainly come into his own during past months. It is a pleasure to see him taking up the reins in such a fashion. I wonder what could have brought this about?"

Whitney, eating, with evident relish, a devilled turkey leg that his Grace had refused at dinner, swallowed thickly, and offered, "I wonder if he is thinking of marriage?"

The two men gazed at their companion in some astonishment. "Well, he certainly has changed, you must allow," the butler observed, trenchantly. "And why ask to be escorted about the house, even into the pantries, unless he is thinking of taking a wife? It does seem a possible solution."

James, who had been acquainted with his Grace for some years, forbore comment. Personally, he thought it as likely Elijah would fly to the moon as marry, but wild horses would not drag this opinion out of him. He was very fond of his employer.

Whitney, correctly interpreting James's facial expression, said, dryly, "Or not, as the case may be. We shall see!"

Rawlings commented that he would be very glad if his Grace was married. "Then the Dowager would have to repair to the Dower House, for I could see no young Duchess peaceably living with her Grace. And don't throw Lady Hannah in my face, the poor chick!..."

Then Mrs Morris, the housekeeper, joined them and the conversation became general. No-one wished to discuss his Grace's private affairs outside the group that had been privy to them. He was held in high esteem for his fair and gentle ways. They would not betray his confidence, not for worlds.



Elijah retired that night, having successfully kept his mind off Dom - until he blew out the lamp on his bedside table. It was no use; he did not need a month. He wanted Dom, needed him as he needed food and air - but he would wait out the month if that is what Dom required of him. Elijah knew he had been hasty in his behaviour over Dom's conversation with Ceddy. He should have known Dom better than to think him capable of such perfidy, for had he not seen the love Dom felt for him expressed in dozens of little ways over the past weeks?

He vowed to control himself better in future. He had done so before Dom came within his orbit - he would do so again. He should, as Dom had said, have asked for, or awaited an explanation. He would study to do better. In the silence and the dark, a picture of Dom, naked and smiling at him, rose, unbidden in his mind's eye. Elijah, longing for his love's warm, lithe body beside him, hastily pulled up his nightshirt and reached under the pillow for a handkerchief.

He smiled at the hope that Dom, in his lonely bed six houses further down the Square, was doing exactly the same thing.



Glossary

Unfilial - Lack of obedience to parental authority

Soiree - a gathering for men only (often misused)

Drawing the bustle - living at full speed

Down pin - worn out

The Cut Direct - deliberately ignoring an aquaintance who has annoyed one

Wales - The Prince Regent was Princes of Wales and was often called so by his friends. Elijah would haved been called Stanford by the Prince in company.

Outside of enough - too much to bear

Better skin - in better health or temper, depending on circumstances

Gryphons - mythical creatures, half lion, half bird, often used in decoration.